Step One: Move to Hawaii. Just kidding! You can grow a pineapple anywhere so long as you keep it in a pot and bring it inside in the winter.
Real Step One: Get a pineapple. Pick one with yellow skin and a healthy top.
Step Three: Put the pineapple top in a jar of water and wait for a week or two.
I hadn't bought a shovel yet at this point, so I just used a stick.
Step Six: Put the rooted pineapple stem in the hole and tuck the dirt back in around it. Then water it lightly. Keep the soil just slightly moist so that the roots can continue to grow.
After a few weeks, check to see if your pineapple is still growing by tugging on it. If the new roots hold it in place, things are going well. If the pineapple pops out again, then simply rinse it off and replant it. Pineapples grow slowly, and they are very tough. If the pineapple completely dries up and dies, then go buy another one and try again.
Want to give it a try? You can actually order a pineapple for planting on amazon.com.
Whenever I get a new pineapple at the store, I try growing the top. After a three years, I'll have a nice patch like this one. See the baby pineapple growing?
Three years is a long time to wait. Meanwhile, let's build some bookshelves! Next week: How to Build a Quick and Easy Pine Bookcase.